Switched
by PrussianCrystal
Summary: Gender switching warning! Helga is shocked when she begans turning into a boy because a science experiment gone bad.
1. Default Chapter

switched.html Author's Notes: For anyone you reads my fics, I know this is unlike anything I've ever written. I wouldn't call writing this a "joke" but it is for "fun". There's a difference. I guess I needed a break from my serious writings. ^_~ 

Switched 

It was a normal, noisy day in the city. PS 118 had just let out, and the children scattered out of their classrooms, eager to get home and play the little games that always made them bounce with glee. However, there was one fourth grade classroom that was still in session. It wasn't often that this class had to stay after the bell, but the noisy stirring and the tension of beyond the closed door made everyone's suspicions rise. 

The class was Mr. Simians class, and they were just finishing a science project that the class had been working on all day. The experiment was the simple task of dissecting frogs, which all of the fourth grade classes were required to do. Helga, however, had been fooling around with the dissecting instruments and accidentally poked a hole in her group's frog. Since it was against the rules, Herald got worried because he thought he might be in trouble. He picked up the frog to throw it in the trash but squeezed it too hard and frog juice went everywhere! 

Sickened cries filled the entire classroom when Helga announced that she had gotten some of the juice into her mouth. She spat on the desk over and over again, but the sickening taste would not fade away. Mr. Simians hastily handed her a glass of water, with she practically inhaled, but still complained of tasting "frog liquid." Just then, Stinky yelled, 

"Hey, now Helga's gonna turn into a boy because frogs can change hat gender they are!" The whole class started laughing hysterically at Stinky's prediction, and Helga glared at everyone and balled her fists. Mr. Simians tried to clam everyone down, the laughter was much too loud for him to speak over. Helga shoved past everyone and slammed the door on her way out. 

"Lousy double-crossing, weasels of classmates.." She muttered under her breath. She spit on some flowers as she marched by, her gigantic feet making deep footprints in the mud she had chosen to walk on. 

"Helga, wait up!" it was the voice of her friend Phoebe, who was running hastily to catch up with Helga. Helga didn't stop, but considerably slowed her pace to allow her friend to catch up. Phoebe ran up to her, out of breath. 

"Just ignore him, Helga, it's scientifically impossible for a human to switch genders by orally being infected by the body fluids of a frog." She reassured. Helga looked at her and frowned, wishing she had pockets to stuff her hands in. 

"I know that Phoebe, I'm not stupid! Everyone just makes me so *mad*!" She shouted. She remembered the laughter from her classmates, the voices....even Arnold's. Arnold had been laughing at her as well! Kind, considerate Arnold was laughing at Helga's misfortune! Not paying attention to where she was going, Helga walked right into a wall before Phoebe could stop her. 

"Ow." 

~That night 

"Um....Helga...did you...finish your homework?" 

"Yes, Miriam!" Helga yelled as she stomped upstairs after dinner. She hadn't been all that hungry, because of the incident at school, and now was heading towards the bathroom to wash her mouth out for the fifth time that day. 

As she was gargling, Helga noticed some strands of hair in the sink. She inspected them, checking for the color and thickness, and soon realized that it was *her* hair. Why would her hair be falling out? She grabbed a clump of hair from the left side and pulled, and found that an entire clump of her blond hair came out easily. Helga spit the mouthwash in the sink stared at the clump of hair in disbelief. She looked at herself in the mirror. The clump of hair that was missing wasn't quite noticeable, but she decided not to brush her hair tonight before she went to bed. 

After changing into her pajamas, Helga slipped into bed, snuggling up against her pillow. She smiled, thinking of Arnold, hoping that she would have peaceful dreams about him as she had for the past hundreds of nights. Before she knew it she had drifted off into a soundless slumber. 

The sounds of the city stirred Helga awake, and she opened one sleepy blue eye to glare out her window at the sounds of the noisy people. The pigeons on her window sill stared back at her, then flew away quickly. With a yawn, Helga lifted her head off her pillow and sat up, glancing at her clock. 'Great. Still an hour before I have to get ready for school.' She noted to herself. She got up, planning to go downstairs and watch cartoons before it was time to get ready, but her pillow caught her glance. 

Helga let out a shrill scream that echoed through the entire city at she stared at the pile of blond clumps of hair that were spilled out over her pillow. 

To Be continued 

Author's Notes: Um....tell me what you think. 


	2. 2

Author's Notes: For anyone you reads my fics, I know this is unlike anything I've ever written. I wouldn't call writing this a "joke" but it is for "fun". There's a difference. I guess I needed a break from my serious writings. ^_~ 

Disclaimer: Whoever cares, I don't own Hey Arnold and I don't wish to. 

Switched   
Chapter Two 

Helga stumbled down the stairs, still screaming her lungs out, running as fast as she could to the bathroom without anyone in her family seeing her. She bombarded into the bathroom and slammed the door behind her as she entered, leaning against the sink to get a good look at her reflection. Her eyes widened as she realized her hair was not gone, but it had fallen out to a create a perfect boy's hairstyle. It looked as though it had been cut that way! 

"What in the world is going on here?!" She screamed. Outside of her house, some pigeons scattered away. 

Helga was in panic, she paced back and forth through the bathroom, running her fingers through her new hairdo. The hair had ceased falling out. Helga looked at her reflection again, trying to come up with some answers. Her eyes blinked as she realized some more very noticeable differences. Her facial features were less feminine, and her eyelashes were much shorter. They must have fallen out too. Suddenly, panic flooded into Helga's mind, as she slowly, hesitantly, reached for her crotch. 

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" 

*all of the pigeons in the city scatter away* 

Helga made her way to the breakfast table, not dressed in her usual pink dress, but a pair of blue jeans and a large T-shirt. Her bra straps kept sliding off her shoulders; it didn't fit anymore. Atop her head was perched no longer a pink bow, but a green beanie she was hoping would hide her new hairstyle. Her parents didn't seem alarmed at all at Helga's new look. Then again, they rarely paid any attention to her anyway. Helga hoped no one at school would notice the changes either. There had to be a cure for this! Maybe she would stop by the potion shop on the way to school. 

Not long after breakfast, the doorbell rang. 

"T-that must be Phoebe." Helga said nervously, throwing down her silverware. She gasped and clutch her throat. 'Oh no! Even my voice is different! No problem, I'll just say that I have a soar throat and shouldn't talk today.' Without so much as a good-bye, Helga sped out of the kitchen and swung open the front door. 

To Helga's surprise, it was not Phoebe that was standing there with her book bag and a cheery smile on her face, but a short, football headed boy with wild blond hair a hat perched atop his head. 

"ARNOLD?!" Helga shouted in disbelief, forgetting about her less feminine voice. She clutched at her throat again before Arnold could react, and gestured to it. 

"Oh, not feeling well Helga? Well, anyway, I just came to see if I can copy your Science notes from yesterday. Grandpa had to pick me up early for a dentist appointment." Helga's eyebrow raised. Arnold hadn't been there yesterday? She could have sworn she had heard Arnold's laughter among the other kids' voices. Well, good. Arnold didn't know about the frog incident. 

Without saying another word, Helga grabbed her book bag from beside the doorway, and, balancing it on her knee, unzipped it and pulled out her science notes. She blushed, handing them to Arnold. Arnold accepted the notes, but blinked at her, utterly confused. No insults? No complaining? And what was with Helga's outfit? 

"You...look...uh..different today, Helga," Arnold commented. Helga shrugged, trying desperately to avoid using her new voice. She grinned at Arnold, tucking a loose strand of hair back under her beanie. 

"Well, I guess I'll see you around, Helga," Arnold said cheerfully, "thanks for the notes." He turned and walked down the steps off Helga's porch, turning walk in the direction of their school. Before Helga could even shut the front door, Phoebe came strolling up the sidewalk. She paused when she reached the bottom of the steps. She seemed stunned at Helga's appearance. 

"Helga-wha-what's happened to you?" She stuttered. Helga frowned. If she could tell anyone she could tell Phoebe. Grabbing the front of Phoebe's dress, she dragged the small girl into the house and quickly up the stairs to her room. As Helga shut the door Phoebe adjusted her glasses, composing herself. 

"Helga, why are you acting so strange?" Helga sighed, sitting on the edge of her bed. 

"Phoebe, I've got a real problem." Helga said, not bothering the disguise her voice. Phoebe blinked. 

"Helga, is there something wrong with your voice?" She asked innocently. Helga seared in rage. 

"OF COURSE THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH MY VOICE PHOEBE, I'VE BEEN TURNED INTO A BOY BY THAT BLASTED FROG DNA! MY HAIR FELL OUT, THE LITTLE BIT OF CHEST I ONCE HAD HAS DISAPPEARED, AND-I-HAVE-A-PENIS!" 

"Oh. That is a real problem, Helga." 

To be Continued 

Author's Notes: Sorry this took so long. You like? ^_^;; 


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